Friday, May 7, 2010

Ten Keys to successful Parenting

Ten Keys to successful Parenting
It is important that we discipline in a way that teaches responsibility by motivating our children internally, to build their self-esteem and make them feel loved. If our children are disciplined in this respect, they will not have a need to turn to gangs, drugs, or sex to feel powerful or belong.
The following ten keys will help parents use methods that have been proven to provide children with a sense of well-being and security.
1 - Use Genuine Encounter Moments (GEMS)
Your child's self-esteem is greatly influenced by the quality of time you spend with him-not the amount of time that you spend. With our busy lives, we are often thinking about the next thing that we have to do, instead of putting 100% focused attention on what our child is saying to us. We often pretend to listen or ignore our child's attempts to communicate with us. If we don't give our child GEMS throughout the day, he will often start to misbehave. Negative attention in a child's mind is better than being ignored.
It is also important to recognize that feelings are neither right nor wrong. They just are. So when your child says to you, "Mommy, you never spend time with me" (even though you just played with her) she is expressing what she feels. It is best at these times just to validate her feelings by saying, "Yeah, I bet it does feel like a long time since we spent time together."
2 - Use Action, Not Words
Statistics say that we give our children over 2000 compliance requests a day! No wonder our children become "parent deaf!" Instead of nagging or yelling, ask yourself, "What action could I take?" For example, if you have nagged your child about unrolling his socks when he takes them off, then only wash socks that are unrolled. Action speaks louder than words.
3 - Give Children Appropriate Ways to Feel Powerful
If you don't, they will find inappropriate ways to feel their power. Ways to help them feel powerful and valuable are to ask their advice, give them choices, let them help you balance your check book, cook all our part of a meal, or help you shop. A two-year-old can wash plastic dishes, wash vegetables, or put silverware away. Often we do the job for them because we can do it with less hassle, but the result is they feel unimportant.
4 - Use Natural Consequences
Ask yourself what would happen if I didn't interfere in this situation? If we interfere when we don't need to, we rob children of the chance to learn from the consequences of their actions. By allowing consequences to do the talking, we avoid disturbing our relationships by nagging or reminding too much. For example, if your child forgets her lunch, you don't bring it to her. Allow her to find a solution and learn the importance of remembering.
5 - Use Logical Consequences
Often the consequences are too far in the future to practically use a natural consequence. When that is the case, logical consequences are effective. A consequence for the child must be logically related to the behavior in order for it to work. For example, if your child forgets to return his video and you ground him for a week, that punishment will only create resentment within your child. However, if you return the video for him and either deduct the amount from his allowance or allow him to work off the money owed, then your child can see the logic to your discipline.
6 - Withdraw from Conflict
If your child is testing you through a temper tantrum, or being angry or speaking disrespectfully to you, it is best if you leave the room or tell the child you will be in the next room if he wants to "Try again." Do not leave in anger or defeat.
7 - Separate the Deed from the Doer
Never tell a child that he is bad. That tears at his self-esteem. Help your child recognize that it isn't that you don't like him, but it is his behavior that you are unwilling to tolerate. In order for a child to have healthy self-esteem, he must know that he is loved unconditionally no matter what he does. Do not motivate your child by withdrawing your love from him. When in doubt, ask yourself, did my discipline build my child's self-esteem?
8 - Be Kind and Firm at the Same Time
Suppose you have told your five-year-old child that if she isn't dressed by the time the timer goes off, you will pick her up and take her to the car. She has been told she can either get dressed either in the car or at school. Make sure that you are loving when you pick her up, yet firm by picking her up as soon as the timer goes off without any more nagging. If in doubt, ask yourself, did I motivate through love or fear?
9 - Parent with the End in Mind
Most of us parent with the mindset to get the situation under control as soon as possible. We are looking for the expedient solution. This often results in children who feel overpowered. But if we parent in a way that keeps in mind how we want our child to be as an adult, we will be more thoughtful in the way we parent. For example, if we spank our child, he will learn to use acts of aggression to get what he wants when he grows up.
10 - Be Consistent, Follow Through
If you have made an agreement that your child cannot buy candy when she gets to the store, do not give in to her pleas, tears, demands or pouting. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say.

Sania Mirza all set to rock Pakistan's advertisements


Sania Mirza all set to rock Pakistan's advertisements

7 May 2010, 0055 hrs IST,Monica Behura,ET Bureau

Sania Mirza
NEW DELHI: ‘Our players are known for stealing singles.’ So was the punchline of PepsiCo Pakistan, which ran a print campaign to welcome Sania Mirza and Shoaib Malik after their marriage.

Sania Mirza may no longer be a hot property with the Indian advertisers, but she’s all set to rock Pakistan’s advertising circle. From local companies such as Habib cooking oil, Malaysian Palm, Parker Fertilizers to big home-grown telecom companies such as Mobilink and Ufone GSM, all have jumped on congratulatory bandwagon welcoming Sania bhabhi with hoardings across the city.

Ad agencies in Pakistan are busy doing consumer research for their clients such as Habib Bank and Alfalah Bank to guage Sania’s acceptability as their brand ambassadors. Both Sania Mirza and Shoaib Malik seem to be the flavor of the season for the Pakistani companies.

“The whole environment is very positive for the consumers, corporates and young minds.

This is a positive step by the corporates in Pakistan towards roping in Sania or both as their brand ambassador,” says Intezaar Siddiqui, creative director (copy), Orient Advertising.

“Around three of our clients are already doing consumer research,” says Abbas Alam, GM creative and planning for ad agency Brand Com, a sister concern of Lowe Worldwide. It has clients such as HSBC, Novartis, Qatar Airways among others.

Sania Mirza will have more brand equity than Shoaib Malik as he is facing one-year ban by PCB and will not be able to shoot any ad campaign during the period. “Therefore, the idea of pairing the two sport icons together in commercials seems an unlikely proposition at present,” says Alam.

However, Adidas of which Sania Mirza is the Indian brand ambassador cannot be signed as the same for the neighboring country since sports apparel and goods MNCs like Nike, Reebok, Puma and Adidas do not have a corporate office in Pakistan and they are all present through the franchisee route.

In India, the tennis ace has just two brands to endorse — Adidas and TVS Scooty as her brand value had taken a major hit due to her inconsistent form in recent times. her marriage controversy had further depleted her brand value and image with the advertisers.

Bollywood film stars having a huge fan following in Pakistan are also getting popular among the local brands there. Early this year, a Pakistani apparel brand, Firdaus Lawn, signed Kareena Kapoor and huge hoardings and outdoor ads have already been done.

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